Please wait…Fatherhood Loading

Hi everyone, this is Karla’s husband Dan, and I’m posting on the blog this week. I told Karla that I wanted to do the post to share my thoughts as a father in waiting as Father’s Day is about to be celebrated.

First some updates. We have been waiting and praying for the entire month of June for birth moms. We have had three adoption notifications to show our profile to birth moms since the start of the month and the waiting period has overlapped. At this point we are still waiting to hear about one of the birth moms. It has been a lot of emotional ups and downs as we waited for updates, the not knowing when we will find​ out makes it hard to relax some days.

So Sunday is Father’s Day. In years past I’ve not really been that involved or cared much beyond showing my Dad how much I cared and appreciated him. This year I’ve been thinking about the very real possibility that this might be the last year I’m not just celebrating for others. Next year I might be a father.

That’s the first time I think I have said or written that down. It feels good.

It’s hard to visualize everything that means. I know what it is like to have a father and be loved and cared for by an amazing dad, but I don’t know what that feels like from the other side. I can think about the logistics, and all the toys and clothes and dirty diapers and that makes sense. But I don’t know how it will feel the first time our child says they love me or they ask for help, the first time they crash their bike (or maybe fall off a horse) and we have to calm their cries. Or the first time they are scared of the dark, or monsters under the bed and need to be saved. All these things and a million more I don’t know how it feels but I will love every minute of it.

So for now we wait to get the call that tells us we get to be parents, and until then we prepare a little at a time. We’ve been getting some “basics” in case we get a last minute notification, and until then they sit in the baby’s room waiting for a child just like Karla and me. It’s a strange place to be knowing you will have a child and are prepared for them, but not knowing when. Today after lunch with my parents we visited a local shop and say a corner of baby clothes and toys, we found a lot of things we loved but not knowing if our child will be a boy or girl we didn’t buy most of what we were looking at. Someday soon we will know our child and spoil them rotten and it will be glorious.

The last thing I wanted to do was thank all our amazing friends and family that have been our prayer and emotional support. Everyone that has donated time, baby stuff, and sponsored a puzzle piece. We are so thankful for everyone in our life and love you all so much. If you still want to sponsor a puzzle piece I put a new Donate button on the website, you can add the amount you want to sponsor and there is an area to add a message. Thank you so much for following our story and supporting us as we walk the adoption journey.

Dan

Be a part of our adoption story

First off let’s get real here, adoption is not cheap. When we first heard the call to adopt many of our conversations were about how we could possible get the money to adopt. So we started researching. To help raise the money people do  support letters, they do go fund me pages and fundraisers of all kinds. Many families do multiple fundraisers. We thought and prayed a lot about if we would do fundraising or not. I personally have never really liked asking people for money, even in high school fundraising for missions trips was my least favorite thing. So we decided to not write a letter, to not do multiple ones. We however did decide on one fundraiser that we feel goes deeper than just asking for your supports in just the form of money. The fundraiser we have decided to do is a puzzle. The puzzle was designed by myself. It has a verse that is very popular for many adoptive families or even just families struggling with fertility. But it also rings so true! ” For this child I have prayed and the Lord has granted me the desires of my heart” 1 Samuel 1:27.

So how does this puzzle work? The puzzle I got has 251 pieces. So basically you will buy a puzzle piece or multiple puzzles pieces. We will then put your name on the back of that puzzle piece or puzzle pieces. Once it is done we will frame the puzzle so that you can see the front and turn it around and see the back with all the names. I want our future child to know how many people have prayed and helped to bring him or her home. Imagine the love that will show our future child. I have already been so in awe of how many people have been following our story and praying for us and I want our future child to know and understand how truly loved they will be and already are! This is the only fundraiser we are doing everything we raise will go straight to our adoption fund. We are not putting a limit on how little or how much you can give. It’s completely up to you. No matter the outcome of this we know God will provide the funds needed. He already is, he has provided for this adoption already in ways that we have been so thankful for. So if you want to help us bring home baby Baumann and become even more a part of the story you can email me at karlajbaumann@gmail.com or Dan at dancbaumann@gmail.com. We can then get you the info for either PayPal or our address to mail us the donation. Or use the Donate Button at the bottom of this post. Just let us know how many puzzles pieces you want and we will be sure to let you see a picture of the pieces and the finished product that will be in the nursery.

I thank you already from the bottom of my heart for even considering to be part of our puzzle fundraiser.

~Karla

Sponsor a puzzle piece
(If donating via Credit Card PayPal charges us a processing fee)

Psalm 56:3-4 ” When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise in God I trust and am not afraid.”

Psalm 56:3-4

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise in God I trust and am not afraid.”

This past Monday I had my Laparoscopy as many of your know. I wont lie I was scared up until the moment I was laying on the surgery table and felt the cold induction drug go in through my catheter on my hand. After that I woke up kicking and in pain and telling the nurse, “I feel like a Labrador waking up from a spay!”  I guess I’m a bit dramatic and totally a vet tech… HA! Any who everything went well and I was able to go home like within an hour or so of waking up so that’s great. By far the worse part of the recovery so far was the gas pains in my right rib cage and under my collar bone. It was by far the worst pain I have ever been in and made you feel like you couldn’t breath. It lasted about 3 days and since then I have just been tired and sore. I have one more week off work which I am so thankful for! I don’t think I am ready to get back to my on my feet and very physical job yet. So next week I will focus a lot on getting myself moving and doing more everyday things. I once again have to say thank you to my awesome hubby! You have been beyond helpful, caring and so loving to me. Also to my mom, you honestly know exactly what to say to me to make me feel stronger and not feel so weak. I also had lots of great friends and family bring me cards, food and flowers. Mandy you are the best for just laying in bed with me and just making me smile and laugh. I have to say I feel so incredibly blessed by all the amazing people in my community that have showed me so much extra love over this last week.

So about that surgery I had and the results… The results were not what I was expecting at all. I feel extremely blessed by them but also a little confused. So what did the doctor find you ask? My answer….Nothing, everything looks great. My left ovary is under some intestine but the doctor said it has probably been like that since I was born and is nothing to be concerned about. I did have a fibroid the size of a piece of rice but once again nothing to worry about. So as you can see I do feel blessed by these results and happy I know everything is good but also a little confused. WHY AM I IN PAIN ALL THE TIME THEN??? Well I don’t know, I meet with my doctor for a follow up next week and we will talk more about that. But once again, it’s is oh so good to know there is nothing scary.So basically I still have PCOS and the doctor said I could technically still have endometriosis even though I didn’t have any lesions… I am a little skeptical of that. So my mom and I have started researching some other possible causes of my pain and I will just keep marching forward until I figure out why the pain is oh so painful.

So the adoption we are just waiting. This month has really been rather quiet with adoption stuff but that has been fine with me because there has been so much other stuff going on. So while I wait, I will praise you lord!

~Karla

Training

So last weekend we were in Castle Rock at some mandatory adoption training. By Colorado state law you must have 16 hours of adoption training before your adoption is finalized.  Hope’s Promise does two trainings a year. One in October and one in April. When we first started the adoption process it was right in the middle of October so we weren’t able to make that training, so we had to wait for the April one. The training was very good. There were a lot of families just starting the processes and still in all the paperwork. There were a couple of families adopting internationally. We were the only “waiting family” but there was another family getting ready to adopt their third child from Hope’s promise. It was fun to meet hopeful adoptive families and it was very fun to get to know the staff at Hope’s Promise better. There were several different classes and people giving us training and tips for raising an adopted child. My favorite part was the birth parent and adoptive parent panel. It was so interesting to hear about everything from the perspective of both birth mom’s and adoptive parents who have already made an adoption plan and who are walking this journey. We even had a how to care for an infant class! The weekend was very good and I was so impressed with the whole weekend. We have now completed everything needed for this stage of adopting. So now we just wait, we just give it to God and trust in his promises.

So as you know we have gotten a number of baby items already so we would be prepared. We have a pack and play, diaper bag, baby wrap holder, some stuffed animals, a car seat and a nursery that needs a crib and rocking chair so I can put up the decorations. Something I hadn’t bought yet was any baby clothes. I at first think I was avoiding it because we don’t know if it will be a boy or girl. I also think I wasn’t buying it because I didn’t want the baby clothes without a baby. I didn’t want to get super excited for the cute little clothes and then it just sit for however long until we get our baby. But yesterday I was out and about in town and went into Target to get another pair of these lounge pants that I like. I don’t know why but I felt the need to buy some baby clothes. I just got some onesies   that were gender neutral and some pants. I also got some swaddle blankets ( I don’t really know what you would call them! HA!). So I officially have some baby clothes in the house. I had a rough week because of some things that happened at work, I had a long conversation with God on Tuesday night on the way home from work. Even though I feel like I have given this adoption to him multiple times, I really haven’t completely let go and given it to him. It’s silly not to but it’s part of my want to have control over the situation. So maybe by buying those baby clothes I have been afraid to buy it was a way of completely giving this journey to him. Maybe it was my way of letting go and letting God. I know that is the only way to make it in this journey. This journey I feel so blessed to get to walk. It is not an easy one my friends, but the deeper in we get the more I can feel God changing my heart. The more I feel prepared for what is ahead. Its pretty crazy that we started this journey 8 months ago and have already been waiting for 4 months. It is going by so fast and yet there are also those hard days that go by so slow. It is something I still am not sure I am strong enough to handle but I also know with God I can do anything. So we keep waiting and praying. We keep trusting the Lord and dreaming of our future child. Until that day, I will give this journey to you Lord, I will lean on you. I will pray every single day for this journey! And until that day we get matched, until that day we bring our precious child home from the hospital I will put my trust in you Lord and then continue to put my trust in you!

~ Karla

 

Time keeps flying by

This last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. I suppose that is a good thing because it makes the weeks go by fast and brings us closer and closer to Baby Baumann. God already has the month, day and hour we will meet our precious baby picked out. This last week we got to go to the main fundraiser that Hopes Promise (our adoption agency) does every year. It was a blast! We went with our great friends and fellow waiting adoptive parents. I am so excited for our friends and the child God has planned for them. I am also so excited we get to walk this journey with them. That our children will get to grow up together and get to have a friend who is also adopted! There was also some awesome food at the event! Next weekend we have a two-day adoption training. I am so excited for this. It has been fun having events that have to do with our agency and our adoption. Annabella also came home yesterday. It feels so good to have her home. I am excited for her to get settled and to really get to know her and start building our relationship!

Please continue to pray for peace in our hearts during this waiting period! (It’s a little rough some days) Please pray for our future birth mom and dad. Please pray for our future child. If you can also pray those same prayers for our sweet friends who are also waiting that would be great!

~Karla

 

All part of the journey

I’m going to be real here. These last couple of week have been rough. I have got emotions like a roller coaster! There have been so many good things going on but also things out of my control that I don’t really like. One of those being my endometriosis. I was diagnosed about three years ago and have been able to manage it with acupuncture and diet. But this last month and a half have been by far the worse symptoms I have ever had! I mean ever! The pain can take me to my knees. So after seeing my girly doctor for a annual and ultrasound it was decided it was time to get a bit more serious about this all. So in May I will be going in for an outpatient laparoscopy. They will take a look in there and then cut out any endometriosis they find. I am nervous but also extremely excited for the pain relief that will come after the healing. I will be out of work for about 2 weeks and won’t be able to ride Annabelle for 3 weeks… That is the worse thing about it all! NO RIDING FOR AT LEAST 3 WEEKS!!! AAH!

I won’t lie to you all I am scared for the surgery. But the hardest part is that it kind of digs up my old wounds and feelings about my endometriosis. It adds to the stress and uncertainty of the wait to adopt. But I know it is the right thing to do and this way when we are picked by a birth mom and we get our baby I will feel awesome. I may feel the best I have felt in over 5 years!!! Wouldn’t that be amazing?!

As for the adoption we are still in the “great wait”. I do feel it is getting easier, I mean it has already been three months since we got approved. Times is going very fast and I know it is all in his hands. The last weekend of the month we will be in Castle Rock for a weekend adoption training. I hear its pretty intense but I am excited to learn! I am excited to meet other couples who are adopting. I am excited to become more educated about adoption.

So if you all can continue to pray for our future child and birth mom. If you can pray that my little surgery goes smoothly and recovery is fast. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for joining us on this journey!

Karla

 

How Adoption has already changed my life

So, how has adoption already changed my life? Well first off my sister Kari is adopted. My parents went over to Romania to get my sister when I was two. I dont remember life without Kari, she has always been my sister and Im so thankful she is. When we were kids Kari and I shared a room so we did like everything together. I also grew up with two adopted cousins. Adoption has always been a part of my life. When I was about ten I went through this phase where I wasn’t going to get married, I was going to ride a motorcycle and I was going to adopt so I could still be a mom. As I got older many of those wants changed but one that did not was the desire to adopt. I think I told Dan I wanted to adopt a child on our first date! It had become something that I knew was a part of my story. It was already a part of my story. If my parents didn’t listen to the call to adopt our family would have always had a missing piece. I would have grown up with just one older sister and my little brother. How boring that would have been. If my parents didnt adopt my beautiful older sister then I probably wouldn’t be adopting either. Not only did my parents make our family whole by adopting but they also planted the seed that is going to make my family whole as well. I am so thankful my mom knew she had a daughter waiting for her in Romania. Adoption has always and will always be a part of my life. I am so thankful for each and every one of my siblings. I love how different we all are but I also love how each one of us fits into our family perfectly and make it whole. I find it incredible to think, that God knew one of my sisters was in Romania and that she would fit perfectly into our family. I think its amazing that God already knows who our future baby is and that this child will also become a perfect fit for Dan and I. Adoption can be hard and it can be messy. No everything wasnt always rainbows and sunshine growing up, all 4 of us kids went through  growing pains and rebellion. It isnt about  being perfect, its about that at the end of the day we are still family and love each other. At the end of the day God chose us to be a family even if that means traveling to another country to bring my sister home or waiting for a birth-mom to pick us to be the parents of her baby. Family isnt always about blood, its about loving one another no matter what. Its about being there during the messy, silly, sad, fun, frustrating and incredible moments of life. Adoption isnt always an easy ride, I am aware of that. I am also aware of the beauty of adoption. My sister, she is the beauty of adoption. She is the amazing part of my family that was so special my parents traveled to another country to bring her home. She is one of the reasons I am so excited to adopt. I cant wait for my child to learn their adoption story, to hear their Auntie Kari’s adoption story. Adoption isnt always sad, it is an incredible story of how God brings families together.

A horse and a song

That’s right my husband got me a horse for my Birthday! Trust me I am as surprised as you! So how in the world did the topic of us getting a horse while we are waiting to adopt even happen? So one of my doctors as work has many horses, mules and donkeys. Back in January we were talking about some things that have happened in her life that will require her traveling a little more. She started talking about her sweet 5 year old mare and how she really should find her a new home because she just doesn’t have the time. She then turned to me and said Karla, I know you have been wanting another horse and I think she would be perfect for you! I kind of laughed and said I wish but we are waiting to adopt a baby and we still need to get our horse fencing done and what not. My sweet doctor then said, I just want her to have a good home, I will just give her to you if you can take her! You can also borrow my horse trailer whenever you need it until you get one. I told her I would ask Dan but didnt think it was a possibility. So that evening I came home and told Dan about it all and that I really understood if it was a no but had to ask because how often do you get offered a great horse just because the current owner wants her to have a good home. I also asked because getting another horse has been a hope and dream for me. That is part of the reason we moved to the house we did almost 3 years ago. It has a barn and a riding arena and all the pasture needed. So I asked Dan, at first he looked at me like I was slightly crazy and then he said, “just let me think about it.”. So I dropped it and let my very analytical husband think about it.  Well weeks of thinking turned into over a month of thinking. So about a week ago we were driving home and I asked if he was still thinking. He was, so I said well lets just talk it through. So we did and decided it probably wasn’t a possibility right now. So I dropped it and really haven’t thought of it since. Dan is a man who loves to surprise the people he loves, he really loves to surprise me. So last night I opened an envelope and there was a hand made card. It had owls on it( which if you know me you know I LOVE owls) and he wrote a very sweet note on it that left me wondering what was on the inside. I was very confused and honestly was like, maybe I get to go to a cool concert or something. Then I opened it and there was a picture of my new sweet mare. I instantly started crying and was in complete shock!!!! I MEAN COMPLETE SHOCK! So that is the story on how my husband who loves to make huge surprises for me pulled off one heck of a surprise!

So yes we are getting a horse while we are waiting to adopt. I know that sounds crazy but it is totally how we do things in this house. Us Baumann’s never do anything small or the easy way. But the truth is that it may take another 1.5 years before we even get to adopt. Our awesome social worker told us the best advice to get through this wait is to not put your life on hold, to keep living your life. So that is what we are doing we are living our life and it happens to include getting a horse. So whether we get our baby in 2 months or 2 years we are going to continue to live our life and not pause it. I cannot wait to get back in the saddle! I cant wait to be able to go riding after a long day at work, or when the wait of the adopt is getting to me! For me horses have always be more than just a passion, they are a therapy and I know many other horse people who would say that. But more than anything, I am so excited that my child gets to grow up with a horse!!!! From day one our child will have a horse and I can teach him or her to ride! I feel so beyond blessed that I will get to raise a child on our 5 beautiful acres, on our little hobby farm! I am still a bit in shock and almost felt like it was a dream when I woke up this morning!

Dan Baumann,

You are far more than I deserve. You know me and my love language so perfectly. I feel so blessed to call you my husband, I feel so blessed that when you met me and I told you my dream was to have a little hobby farm in the forest it didnt scare you. You just smiled and I know your brain was already going to work to make it a possibility. You love me so well, even when Im a crazy emotional mess! Dan I am so thankful beyond words that I get to call you my husband. You pulled off the biggest surprise you could have pulled off! I love you forever and always my incredible husband!

Love,  Karla

I got my first horse on my 15th  birthday as a surprise and 12 years later I got my third horse as a surprise on my 27th birthday! I am still in shock but feel so so loved. So now we just have to get all our fencing up before she gets out of training! That is also a good thing because we will finish the two stalls we are going to be boarding horses in. So we will have my sweet mare and two horses we board here. That is how Im going to bring in a little income once Im a stay at home mom. This week has been full of surprises I would never ever expect. God is way too good!

I will also be singing with the worship band at church this Sunday! I am so excited, I had practice on my birthday and it was so much fun! I have always loved to sing and have been told I have a great voice, but have always been a bit shy about it. As I would say to my mom, I like to pull it out when people least expect it and surprise everyone! Ha! Well, God has really been pulling on my heart strings to start and use my gift for him. So that is what Im gonna do! I hope I can use my voice to touch peoples hearts for God. Yea this week has brought a lot of new adventures to this family! But as long as we have God, anything is possible!

~Karla

Just waiting

That is where we are…We are just waiting. This has by far been the hardest part thus far. I mean the hardest. I knew it would be but man. These last two weeks have been hard for me. I have had probably the worse flare up of my endometriosis I have ever had. It just drains you, the constant pain and discomfort. I have been extra stressed at work on top of all the endometriosis stuff. This too has made the waiting game harder. But I am still so thankful for God’s loving arms around me. I have really felt them these last two weeks. Even when I have been very grumpy and not the best Karla I could be. I have been trying to take more time out with God and myself. So far every single night this week I have spent extra time with God and have taken an hour long bath. It is helping me one feel better and two helps me try and focus on the bigger picture. It’s so easy to get sucked into the the questions and uncertainties of adoption. I have literally read our copy of our adoption book every single night this week. I started it as kind of a way to pray over it and pray for the birth parents that will be looking them. But it has almost turned into me questioning if we are good enough, if the book is good enough. I have had to tell myself over and over this week that God has this all planned out and our book will be perfect for the birth mom who picks us.  I was talking to one of my favorite clients at work this week, she currently has a foster baby that she will most likely be adopting later this year. She has been a foster mom for a couple years now. I was talking to her about the wait and how its been a little harder for me than I expected. She reminded me that its okay to talk about and that the only way we will make it through is by leaning on God. By giving him every fear, doubt, worry, and letting him handle it. He has gotten us this far, he will get us through the rest. I am thankful for unexpected conversations like that. God seems to always make them happen when you need them most. I didn’t know I would even be seeing this client this week. The conversation came up after I discharged her dog after he got neutered that day. But God knew I needed those words and her sweet encouragement. SO THANKFUL! So here we are still waiting, but instead of obsessing over something I have no control over I will give it to God. Gosh, how lucky are we that in any situation in life we can give it to God? I am sure thankful for that. So in the mean time I will keep dreaming of my future baby and I will keep leaning on my Lord and Savoir.  I will also keep busy because that is helpful! Tomorrow I am watching my friends almost one year old twins for a couple hours, then lunch with an old friend and an appointment I have been putting off for way too long! Next week I celebrate my birthday and am doing a joint birthday dinner with my sister and niece! All I know is I won’t let doubt creep in and ruin this part of our adoption journey. Its all part of the journey and I want to try and enjoy each and every day of it. God is in control and for that truth I am beyond thankful!

~ Karla

Working on the Nursery

So last Saturday we had a big work day in the nursery because we got new carpet this week and wanted to make sure the painting was done before the new carpet. So we asked my dad to come and help us out. My dad is a contractor and has done a ton of beautiful work in my house. So I knew I needed him to help make sure the nursery was on point! And of course it looks great. So because we don’t know what gender we are going to end up with I decided to go with a green color. The paint color is actually called “seedless grape”. I love it! I am also kind of in love with bright green colors. I have a wall in my guest bathroom that is bright green and in our last house I had a HUGE wall in my kitchen that was bright green. So it was an easy choice for me. The theme for the nursery is woodland creatures. I have gotten some pieces that can go either boy or girl and then once we know what we are having I will be able to add more girly things or more boy things. I love decorating so this is so much fun for me!

The weird part of it all is getting a nursery together and baby items, while having no idea when you will become parents. For me the waiting has been the hardest part of the process thus far. I didn’t mind the paperwork because it was something active to do and you could see the end . All the meetings with our social worker didn’t bother me because it also had an end goal. Now that we are waiting there is still an end goal but you can’t see it. At the moment the end is very far out of sight. In the stage we are at you have to live like you are adopting and could get a call at anytime but also continue to live your life and not expect a call. If I lived every day on my toes thinking I was about to get the call I would go CRAZY! It has been kind of a hard balance to find. But I think I am finally finding it.

Something that has helped me in this process is writing in my journal and being in the word of our Lord. This blog has actually helped me as well, it helps me process all things of the week and my emotions about waiting to adopt. God’s overwhelming peace has also be absolutely incredible. I am so thankful for that. Let’s not forget about my awesome husband who is a constant strong pillar for me. He is always so emotionally strong and is always there to talk me down when I let my emotions get the best of me. So thankful.

Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

John 14:27  (NIV)

27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.