We have been home with our sweet boy for 5 weeks already! Time is flying by and he is growing strong. I still sometimes look down at him and wonder if this is all really real. I still am so in awe of God and all he has done. I think back to the last 9 weeks and can’t believe how much has happened. I am in shock that it’s already been 6 weeks since my last day of work. All I can really do is thank the Lord, thank the lord for every single second of the last 9 weeks. It has all been him! I LOVE being a stay at home mom, my old co-worker asked me if I miss work and well I don’t. I miss some parts like my regular clients. But I also know being home with Karsten is right where I am supposed to be. I feel so lucky to get to be a stay at home mom and love spending every day with my little monkey.
So how was Karsten Leonard Baumann named? With adoption there are many things that can happen with a name. Karsten will have two birth certificates one with his birth moms last name and then when the adoption is finalized one with hours. So he could technically have two completely different names. K could have named him one thing and us another. Some people will change the first name and have the birth moms first name be the new middle. Some families agree on a first name and have different middle names. Dan and I have had names picked out for our children for a very long time. I always thought when we got matched I would still want one of our names. Well when we found out we were matched with K we also found out K names run in her family like they run in mine, Dan and I saw that and picked a K name to add to our list of boys names, it wasn’t Karsten. So at the first meeting with K she asked us about name choices, we told her ours including our “K” name and then asked what she was thinking. She said, I really like the name Karsten. Well that was the first time I had ever heard that name and I liked it. We ended the name conversation I think with well lets think about it all. As we were driving home that day I knew that Karsten would be him name, I asked Dan what he thought and he liked it as well. So a couple of days later I told K we wanted to keep her first name choice and name him Karsten. As for a middle name we wanted Leonard after my Dad and she had a different one picked out for him as well. So he would have different middle names, but I thought what a fun part of his story that his birth mom and his parents agreed on a name together! Even more fun that it was birth moms choice for a name! So fast forward to being in the hospital. One afternoon we were all hanging out and K got birth certificate paperwork. Up until this point we all thought she was going with her choice for a middle name. As she was filling it out K looks up at me and asks so how do you spell Leonard? I was a little shocked but also very moved she decided to use our middle name! I just think it is so awesome that the only difference on Karsten’s birth certificates will be his last name. I love that we were able to agree one names for this amazing little baby boy. That we each got to pick part of his name! Karsten means anointed which is part of the reason K wanted to name him that. Leonard means brave lion. What perfect names and meanings for a loved little boy!
Since being home it has been really busy! Getting use to the new normal, doctors appointments, baby showers, and lots of visitors. We had some very special visitors exactly 4 weeks after he was born. K and her mom came for their first visit. I was nervous, I knew everything would be more than OK but you still get a little nervous. I was also very excited for them to be able to see him and see where he gets to grow up. Also excited to catch up and hear how K was doing! K and I had been texting almost daily but it’s also so nice to see each other in person. The visit was great, we got to catch up and all love on Karsten together! After all that is what open adoption is about! It’s all about love! It’s about K loving Karsten so much she wants him to have the best life possible and loving herself enough to know she wasn’t ready to raise another child. It’s about us loving Karsten so much that we love his birth family with open hearts. That we love him so much that he deserves to know where he is from. I also think we got lucky because K and her family are so easy to love! When people ask me if open adoption is hard I always say yes and no. Yes because everyone in the situation has to stretch and do things and be in situations that aren’t always easy. No because God placed each of us in this situation together and you can tell that with how well we all click together. How easy it is for K and I to speak to one another and to love Karsten. You see when I hear about how some people have trouble letting the birth family in I get it and I also don’t. I understand there are situations where it isn’t healthy. But if it is I don’t understand how you can’t love them with an open heart. Isn’t that what Jesus would do? You can love people with an open heart and still also guard your heart. K gave Dan and I the greatest gift we will ever receive, so if all I can do is love her with an open heart, love her like Jesus would then I am going to try my very hardest too! So far this open adoption thing is a lot less scary than I originally thought. Sure there may be some bumps in the road ahead but I have said it once and will continue too, God moved so many mountains to get us this far, I know he will continue to get us through!