Double Rainbow

How in the world is it already March 3rd? Like seriously time is flying by. These last couple months have been filled with sickness, swim lessons, family, friends, and the best of all on January 19th we finalized Karsten’s adoption! The beginning of January was a big old bummer, I was sick the first three weeks and Karsten also got sick for the first time! Let me tell you being sick and caring for your kiddo is a whole new ball game, seriously I have so much respect for my mom! This was the first I have gotten sick since we brought Karsten home and man it is hard work and mom’s don’t get sick days! HA! Mom, seriously so much respect for all the times you were sick and still had to care for all of us!

January 19th was a great day. We all got dressed up and headed up to a courthouse in Castle Rock. Since we adopted in such a close timeline with our friends they got to finalize on the same day with us and they let us do it with each other in the same courtroom! We had so many people between us that we filled the courtroom and the jury box! The judge said something like, “wow you guys got anyone else out there?” The judge finalized our friends adoption first and then us right after. It was so sweet, it was amazing that after all the hoping, praying, waiting, paperwork, tears, God moving mountains, nervousness and then in just 10 minutes of talking to a judge it was done. Karsten was legally a Baumann forever! After, just our immediate family and our best friends went to our favorite restaurant, which is conventionally in Castle Rock. We ate and celebrated and just enjoyed the afternoon with the ones we love most. So how does it feel to have finalized Karsten’s adoption? Well mostly like it did before, we knew Karsten was forever our son now we just have a piece of paper to prove it! The best part of it was that we are done with visits from our case worker and monthly reports! WOOT WOOT! Although I will say I was also a little sad because I really love our case worker and she had been such a big part of our lives for a year and now we will like never talk to her, so that made me a little sad. But it does feel good. My precious little family is mine forever. Even more amazing is we gained a whole new group of family members; Karsten’s birth family who is also like our family now! That is really one of the most beautiful things about our adoption is how well we all became one big family, I feel so blessed to have them. I also know there are many adoptions where the openness doesn’t flow like it did with us, and that is okay, every single adoption story will be different. That is okay as well, I firmly believe that when you seek God first in adoption he will hand write the adoption story for your family and make it exactly what he wants it to be.

So now we just melt into family life and being with one another. This is the first time since we got married that something hasn’t been going on, whether that be moving, fixing houses, house flooding, pets passing unexpectedly, infertility, adoption paperwork and the wait, then waiting for finalization. It feels good to just BE, just be in the moment and not looking to what is next. Just be present to hear and see where God wants to use us, just be content in the moment. To enjoy the day to day life with Karsten and Dan, enjoy mommy and me swim lessons with Karsten, enjoy our new neighborhood and be available to help my mom who is caring for my almost 100 year old great gram in her home. These are those sweet moments of life that sometimes get taken for granted but I am certain are some of the most special moments of life. This is when I can grow my relationship with God and seek him in the quiet and not in the chaos that life can sometimes become. I’m just going to love and enjoy this season of life with my beautiful little family and listen to where God calls us next.

Life is and will forever be ever changing so I challenge you to find the beauty and find God in whatever season you may be in. To take time to breath in God’s word and breath in his grace and beauty. Even in the hardest seasons God will show you his beauty. I will never forget about three days before we found out we were matched with K, I was broken, probably the most broken I have ever been. I went out to see the horses I owned at the time and my little mini went running around the pasture and there was the most beautiful rainbow. My sister saw the video I took that night and knowing how broken I was reminded me that a rainbow represented God’s promises. Then the night Karsten was born, as we drove down to meet our son for the first time there was the most vivid double rainbow I have ever seen in my life. I got a text from the my sister that night as we drove down with a pictures of those rainbows and she said again, God’s promises… Even if you are in your darkest season of life look around, seek God and he will show his face…

The name

We have been home with our sweet boy for 5 weeks already! Time is flying by and he is growing strong. I still sometimes look down at him and wonder if this is all really real. I still am so in awe of God and all he has done. I think back to the last 9 weeks and can’t believe how much has happened. I am in shock that it’s already been 6 weeks since my last day of work. All I can really do is thank the Lord, thank the lord for every single second of the last 9 weeks. It has all been him! I LOVE being a stay at home mom, my old co-worker asked me if I miss work and well I don’t. I miss some parts like my regular clients. But I also know being home with Karsten is right where I am supposed to be. I feel so lucky to get to be a stay at home mom and love spending every day with my little monkey.

So how was Karsten Leonard Baumann named? With adoption there are many things that can happen with a name. Karsten will have two birth certificates one with his birth moms last name and then when the adoption is finalized one with hours. So he could technically have two completely different names. K could have named him one thing and us another. Some people will change the first name and have the birth moms first name be the new middle. Some families agree on a first name and have different middle names. Dan and I have had names picked out for our children for a very long time. I always thought when we got matched I would still want one of our names. Well when we found out we were matched with K we also found out K names run in her family like they run in mine, Dan and I saw that and picked a K name to add to our list of boys names, it wasn’t Karsten. So at the first meeting with K she asked us about name choices, we told her ours including our “K” name and then asked what she was thinking. She said, I really like the name Karsten. Well that was the first time I had ever heard that name and I liked it. We ended the name conversation I think with well lets think about it all. As we were driving home that day I knew that Karsten would be him name, I asked Dan what he thought and he liked it as well. So a couple of days later I told K we wanted to keep her first name choice and name him Karsten. As for a middle name we wanted Leonard after my Dad and she had a different one picked out for him as well. So he would have different middle names, but I thought what a fun part of his story that his birth mom and his parents agreed on a name together! Even more fun that it was birth moms choice for a name! So fast forward to being in the hospital. One afternoon we were all hanging out and K got birth certificate paperwork. Up until this point we all thought she was going with her choice for a middle name. As she was filling it out K looks up at me and asks so how do you spell Leonard? I was a little shocked but also very moved she decided to use our middle name! I just think it is so awesome that the only difference on Karsten’s birth certificates will be his last name. I love that we were able to agree one names for this amazing little baby boy. That we each got to pick part of his name! Karsten means anointed which is part of the reason K wanted to name him that. Leonard means brave lion. What  perfect names and meanings for a loved little boy!

Since being home it has been really busy! Getting use to the new normal, doctors appointments, baby showers, and  lots of visitors. We had some very special visitors exactly 4 weeks after he was born. K and her mom came for their first visit. I was nervous, I knew everything would be more than OK but you still get a little nervous. I was also very excited for them to be able to see him and see where he gets to grow up. Also excited to catch up and hear how K was doing! K and I had been texting almost daily but it’s also so nice to see each other in person. The visit was great, we got to catch up and all love on Karsten together! After all that is what open adoption is about! It’s all about love! It’s about K loving Karsten so much she wants him to have the best life possible and loving herself enough to know she wasn’t ready to raise another child. It’s about us loving Karsten so much that we love his birth family with open hearts. That we love him so much that he deserves to know where he is from. I also think we got lucky because K and her family are so easy to love! When people ask me if open adoption is hard I always say yes and no. Yes because everyone in the situation has to stretch and do things and be in situations that aren’t always easy. No because God placed each of us in this situation together and you can tell that with how well we all click together. How easy it is for K and I to speak to one another and to love Karsten. You see when I hear about how some people have trouble letting the birth family in I get it and I also don’t. I understand there are situations where it isn’t healthy. But if it is I don’t understand how you can’t love them with an open heart. Isn’t that what Jesus would do? You can love people with an open heart and still also guard your heart. K gave Dan and I the greatest gift we will ever receive, so if all I can do is love her with an open heart, love her like Jesus would then I am going to try my very hardest too! So far this open adoption thing is a lot less scary than I originally thought. Sure there may be some bumps in the road ahead but I have said it once and will continue too, God moved so many mountains to get us this far, I know he will continue to get us through!


Dancing through the wait

God has totally been stretching me and teaching me how to dance through the wait. It has not always been easy but I will tell you God has been there in it all. Every second, every hour, every day. I am keeping busy with work, friends, family, new friends and playing with my animals, oh and of course lots of riding. We met this awesome couple at the adoption training in April and really hit it off, we are getting dinner with them this friday. We are excited learn more about each others stories and talk lots of adoption! We started talking at the training because I thought she looked like someone I knew! Now I think we will be great friends. Its always so good to have friends walking the same path as you! I also went over to Montrose, Co with my parents this last weekend to celebrate my Great Grandma’s 99th birthday! It was so awesome to celebrate and be with family!

So about this puzzle fundraiser, WOW thank you to everyone who has donated so far! We have decided to put an end date on this little fundraiser! The date will be July 30th. So if you would still like to join the fun you have another month! My awesome hubby added a really awesome donate button on the bottom of the page!

Please keep praying for this little journey we are on! God is already moving mountains and preparing hearts for us to be able to one day bring home Baby Baumann! We are just overwhelmed by the support and love from you all! We are even more overwhelmed by God and his unfailing love!






Working on the Nursery

So last Saturday we had a big work day in the nursery because we got new carpet this week and wanted to make sure the painting was done before the new carpet. So we asked my dad to come and help us out. My dad is a contractor and has done a ton of beautiful work in my house. So I knew I needed him to help make sure the nursery was on point! And of course it looks great. So because we don’t know what gender we are going to end up with I decided to go with a green color. The paint color is actually called “seedless grape”. I love it! I am also kind of in love with bright green colors. I have a wall in my guest bathroom that is bright green and in our last house I had a HUGE wall in my kitchen that was bright green. So it was an easy choice for me. The theme for the nursery is woodland creatures. I have gotten some pieces that can go either boy or girl and then once we know what we are having I will be able to add more girly things or more boy things. I love decorating so this is so much fun for me!

The weird part of it all is getting a nursery together and baby items, while having no idea when you will become parents. For me the waiting has been the hardest part of the process thus far. I didn’t mind the paperwork because it was something active to do and you could see the end . All the meetings with our social worker didn’t bother me because it also had an end goal. Now that we are waiting there is still an end goal but you can’t see it. At the moment the end is very far out of sight. In the stage we are at you have to live like you are adopting and could get a call at anytime but also continue to live your life and not expect a call. If I lived every day on my toes thinking I was about to get the call I would go CRAZY! It has been kind of a hard balance to find. But I think I am finally finding it.

Something that has helped me in this process is writing in my journal and being in the word of our Lord. This blog has actually helped me as well, it helps me process all things of the week and my emotions about waiting to adopt. God’s overwhelming peace has also be absolutely incredible. I am so thankful for that. Let’s not forget about my awesome husband who is a constant strong pillar for me. He is always so emotionally strong and is always there to talk me down when I let my emotions get the best of me. So thankful.

Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

John 14:27  (NIV)

27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.


Adoption Book

So this week has been kind of a rough one. Stomach flu followed by a crazy migraine. Plus work was a tough one this week. But today I’m on the mend and in my “migraine hangover phase” so I’m at least functioning! YAY! 

So the adoption book, its a book that birth mothers who are going to make an adoption plan look at to pick  potential adoptive parents. So it is kind of a big part of the adoption process. Well we finally got ours in the mail yesterday! Dan will be taking them to our adoption agency this afternoon. They will then be in the hands of social workers all over the state of Colorado. Kind of crazy to think about. I don’t want to share all of our adoption book but I have included some pictures of parts of it. 

Making this book was pretty intense, but I also enjoyed it a lot. The hardest part was the letter to the birth parent and then the thank you. It was hard to find the exact words to let a person we have never met know how much we will love their child we have never met. To let them know that we are already in awe of their strength for choosing life and an adoption plan. To let them know we are open to an open adoption and always want their child to know and understand his or her story. That was hard, but then my great friend who is also adopting reminded me that God already has this birth mom picked out, already has a child in mind, and while my words may make one person not pick us they will be perfect words for the one who does. I was thankful for that reminder from my sweet friend and after I put my mind in that perspective, the words just came. 

The rest of the book was pretty fun to make. Just picking out the right pictures and giving them a look into our lives. My favorite page to make was the one on our pets…Well duh, I love them! So it was so easy and fun! For the pages on Dan and I, we wrote about each other. So I explained Dan and he explained me. That way we aren’t like well I’m so great because of this and I’m the best singer in the whole world, or I’m so good with technology I’m better than Steve Jobs…HA! Not that we would actually write that!!! Then there are pages on our incredible family, our friends, home, fun facts and the thank you. I wanted to keep the design fun but not to loud or over the top. 

So with the books in the hands of the social workers the wait truly does begin. I know God already has a perfect plan for it all. I can’t wait to see it unfold. I am holding on to this knowledge to help me stay calm and peaceful. Yesterday in my sickness I was laying on the couch and Mike & Molly came on. The two episodes I watched was the ones when they were making their adoption book and then when they finally got the baby. In these episodes they showed them just being absolutely crazy while waiting for “the call” and the struggle to stay sane. All I kept thinking was “Oh Lord, please, please don’t let me get that crazy during this process!” I had to giggle at it all but know that God is our peace during this time.

Thanks for reading. This week please pray for our adoption books. Please pray for the people who open and look at these books. Whether they pick us or not these girls are trying to make probably the hardest decision they have ever made.  


It’s true! We are Adopting!

If you find yourself on this page first off thank you so much for taking the time to look at this blog. Second, it’s true! We’re Adopting. Many may be wondering why, how long does this take, why not biological children? Im here to answer those questions but I’m also here to tell our adoption journey. To share with people, to bring awareness to adoption and to hopefully get all of your prayers during this time.

So why not biological children? This is a topic people feel afraid to ask, they dont want to upset or hurt us. Since starting this journey I have become a lot more open about it. Dan and I do want to have biological children, we hope God does bless us with one someday. But for me, adoption has ALWAYS been something I knew was part of my story. Dan learned I wanted to adopt, I think on our first date! So with prayers and God, Dan’s heart also turned to adoption. So when we learned I had endometriosis almost 3 years ago and learned it may take longer for us to conceive, we really began to seek and pray for God’s plan on how we would start a family. Last fall we both heard loud and clear that it was time to Adopt. We both feel so blessed that we have been chosen to walk this path.

How long does it take? This process can take a while. We started paperwork and the home study in late October last year and just finished with it and was approved earlier this week! We just order our adoption profile books, that birth mothers will look at and decide if they want to meet us. So now that we are in the “waiting pool” it can literally take 24 hours to 2 years. For our agency their average wait time last year was about 12.5 months. With some couples waiting longer and some shorter. So a lot of the time if we wont know anything until we know everything. There are many things I wont be able to share on this blog. But also things I can. So if you feel compelled to follow our journey know I will update with information when I can.

We feel so blessed to be walking this journey. This journey that can be a roller coaster of emotions. We are so grateful to have the support of our family and small group. We are very happy to be also walking this journey with another couple in our small group. God is so good!  So the praying and waiting has started. We know that God already has the perfect birth mom and child in mind (even if that child hasn’t been conceived yet). That knowledge is amazing! So if you can pray for peace for us during this wait that would be wonderful! Thank you for joining us on this journey!