There are some life changes you know are coming and some you have felt coming but didn’t know if it was real. We have had so many life changes this year. We have had to make some hard decisions like returning my horse. That though was just the warm up. We love our house and we love our property. When we bought this house three years ago Dan and I were so excited to pick out and purchase our first home together. At the time we weren’t part of a church and were actually taking a break so we didn’t really feel like we had a home base. I could commute back and forth from Monument no problem and Dan was home anyways. It was just the two of us and a 30 minute drive was nothing. These last three years here have been incredible but also in those last three years our lives have really started to center around Monument. We found and became members of a church in Monument, have lots of amazing friends in Monument, my family is there. Monument is our community. When we brought Karsten home is was becoming more and more apparent how much our lives were there. We started thinking about the future, well Karsten’s friends will be there, I want him in the school district there, and probably his activities will be as well. But here we are living almost 30 minutes away, but on the property our dreams are made of… About a week or so after deciding to give Annabelle back to her previous owner, I was making the long drive home and could hear God loud and clear. But I had to sit on what God had told me, this would be a giant change and we have already had so many… Then I had to talk it over with my favorite person to talk life over with; my mom. She agreed with everything I was saying and I decided it was probably time to talk this over with Dan. I was worried to talk to Dan, he knew how much I love our house, and he knew this was my dream. So we sat down and I said, “ Dan, I think we are supposed to move to Monument.” We sat and talked things out for a while and decided moving to Monument was the right thing for our family. I know, we are as shocked as you, but there are different seasons of life and this adventure (probably the most amazing one) of being a family of three and raising a son will be better suited in Monument, Colorado. So here we go on our next adventure selling out beloved house and finding a new one, the one we will raise our family in. It is one of the most bitter-sweet decisions I have ever made! I have cried while cleaning out my barn and I cried when they put the sign in the front yard today. But I am also so excited, excited to become more involved in our church activities, being closer to both mine and Dan’s families, watching Karsten grow and play with friends. Some of the best change in life is hard and boy this is, trying to find a home for Pearl, my ducks and goose and knowing more than likely my chickens. (Hoping to move somewhere we can have a couple of backyard chickens.) But, in the end the most important things is my family is living in a place we can grow and living in a place I can best serve the Lord. Right now that isn’t 5 acres in beautiful Black Forest, Colorado. Who knows maybe one day I will live out here again and gets horses, or perhaps maybe not. All I know is I will listen to the Lord and go where we need to go. Because home isn’t were horses, ducks and chickens are, home is where I walk through the door and see Dan and Karsten smiling back at me! So ready or not Monument, THE BAUMANN’S ARE COMING TO TOWN!!!
When I got Annabelle for my birthday this year I was over the moon! I had been dreaming of getting another horse for so long. I also knew it was a risky move, she was green broke and required a lot of riding and attention to make her into a proper horse. But I was given her for free and I thought at that point I still had many months of waiting before we would meet our child. She came home late April and fast forward two months and we got the most incredible phone call of our lives. A birth mom wanted to have a match meeting with us and the baby boy was due in 3ish week! When we first got Annabelle I honestly thought I would have her close to a year before bringing a baby home. I am so thankful we didn’t have to wait that long but because of this beautiful season of life Annabelle has spent a lot of time just hanging out in the pasture. A green broke horse should be ridden at least 3 times a week and I have been averaging about once every month and a half. Green broke horses require a lot more time than a 10 year old horse that has been around the block and is ok being only ridden on the weekends. I have felt so much guilt that this beautiful smart 5 year old mare is just eating in a pasture. (Not that she really cares but I know all she can become.) I have been wrestling with what to do for a while now and have decided Annabelle will be returning to her first owner who now has the time for her. I have cried many tears over this decision but this gorgeous horse deserves only the best and I will never be able to make her into the amazing trail horse I know she can be. Not only do I not have the time but I also don’t have all the knowledge required to get her to be the amazing horse I know she can be. I knew it would be risky to bring her home with the stage of life we are in, so now I will be a responsible adult and admit that I’m in the wrong phase of life for a 5 year old green broke horse. You know it’s hard to be an adult sometimes; I love Annabelle like crazy and will miss her even more. Luckily I know where she is going and can hopefully go out and ride her every once in a while. I will say Annabelle did help me through our wait, she helped me find myself again and I helped her become not just a ranch horse but someone’s best friend. She was so rough around the edges when I got her and she is now a sweet girl who loves to be groomed and get loved on. Without Annabelle we also would have never gotten Pearl. Pearl our sweet one-eyed mini horse will be staying, she is a bit easier to care for and I don’t need someone out with me when I work her. (I had Dan out with me and Annabelle when we rode because she is young and still learning). I can still get my horse fix with my sassy little Pearl. We have also discussed that in the late spring we may try and find me a horse with more experience I can go ride by myself and doesn’t need all the extra training Annabelle still needs. Even though this hurts my heart I know it is best for Annabelle and best for my family at this stage. These last couple weeks have been trying with decisions of Annabelle and other personal things but God always prevails. There are seasons when life when you sometimes have to put your hands up and say I can’t do this right now even if you wish it could be different. I have this incredible little human I am raising but still have to think of what is best for my fur babies even if that is not what I have always imagined. So here is to Annabelle becoming the most incredible horse she can be and to us hopefully finding a horse that matches our lifestyle better in the late spring! I also have this feeling that sassy little pearl is going to LOVE not having a big old mare bossing her around anymore!
So since bringing Karsten home I have had many questions about adoption. The main question I get is after people hear this is an open adoption. I have had multiple people ask me if because it’s an open adoption does that mean the K can change her mind and decide to parent or does it mean she still has parental rights. Since we have brought Karsten home I find it’s extremely important to educate about adoption and the different types of adoption.
First off there is no type of adoption that the birth mom or dad still have rights to the child. Depending on each state there is a “cool off” period after the child is born. In Colorado that is about a week. During this period of time the child is with the adoptive family but the birth family still has the right to decide to parent. After this period of time is over the birth parents will sign papers terminating parental rights. After the papers are signed and sent in they no longer have any parental rights.
So there are three main types of adoptions, Open adoption, Semi open adoption and closed adoption. We will start with closed, closed adoption means there is very little to no contact between the birth family and adoptive family. No identifying information is shared except for medical records. Closed adoption is becoming less and less common. Open adoption is the opposite of closed. There is not a definition of exactly what an open adoption will look like because everyone’s is a little different. With an open adoption depending on the family all identifying information is shared. There are phone calls, letters, texts, emails and visits in open adoption. In our case our adoption is very open. K has already had her first visit with us and it was even at our home. I also text with K about once a week or so. Last but not least, semi open adoption. Semi open is some place between closed and open. Usually identifying information is a little more protected. Usually there are some pictures and letter shared but they are given to the case worker to exchange between families. There are also sometimes visits but there is always an adoption professional present. Many semi open adoptions do change into open adoptions as the years go on and the birth family feels more comfortable. The type of adoption is determined by the birth family and what they would like, sadly every now and then you hear of an adoptive family who after the adoption is finalized will stop communicating with the birth family. You see adoptive families can stop communicating with the birth family; there are times when if it isn’t a healthy relationship, the birth parents aren’t in a good spot or something like that, that we have the option to tell the birth family we need to take a break until they get their life back on track. This is usually done to protect the child.
So far I have really enjoyed having an open adoption. I am thankful the birth family can see Karsten grow and see how much we love him. I love that Karsten won’t have to question where he came from or the beginning of his story. I have also enjoyed seeing K succeed after the birth of Karsten. It’s great to hear from her about all the improvements she is making and all the cool things she has accomplished.
So yes we are in an open adoption. Yes I am very happy about that and no K cannot change her mind and decide to parent him. But K is there to watch him grow, love him and cheer him on, and we are there to do the same things for K, love her, watch her grow and cheer her on in every aspect of life!
So this story of bringing Karsten home, this story of watching God move, of meeting our brave birth mom, who we will call “K”, all started on June 8th with a profile notification. Before this one we had gotten I believe 5 others and 5 no’s. So when you receive a profile notification you usually have a couple of days to say if you wanted your book shown or not. Then the brave mama who is considering making an adoption plan gets the books and then picks one out of the usually large stack she gets. It usually takes a couple of days for us to find out if you get a match meeting or not and up until this point we had just gotten the email saying that the brave mama had picked another family to have a match meeting with. So as we waited to hear back from K, I prayed and prayed. K took a little bit longer to decide which we later found out was because she was waiting for her mom to get back into town so she could show her mom her top two choices. Now in this wait we got another profile notification and this one was very different from the others. With certain circumstances the placement of this child would be in only 4 days or less! Wow, this one was so different and so fast. So I began to pray some more, prayers for K as she was still deciding and prayers for this other one and the speed it would all take place at and the family to be chosen. As many may recall we were waiting to adopt and so were our very good friends. They started the whole processes before us and we were always about a month behind. They started their wait in December and we in January. The Saturday before we found out about our match meeting we were still waiting on K and now also waiting on this urgent one. Nerves were a little high to say the least. That Saturday I found myself in prayer a lot and I also was hearing God say that this urgent one, this child would be our friends child. So that evening I got the call from my friend, on the other end she said “ I wanted you to find out from us first, we got matched!” It was a funny feeling I felt, pure joy and happiness for them but also a sad and longing for us to be in the same boat as them. My heart was overwhelmed with happiness for our friends but also sadness. So my dear friends had their match meeting on father’s day, then were able to meet their daughter after and then brought her home on Monday June 19th! It was a crazy few days to say the least and I honestly struggled a little with my emotions and I just prayed.
June 21st was just like any other day, I got up and went to work. I was tired and emotionally drained and honestly feeling pretty low about all the adoption stuff. That day K was really on my mind, so over my lunch break I opened up the email with the profile notification and read about this baby boy and this brave mama again. ( I had probably read it 30 times by now) I then just prayed and prayed and prayed, prayed for her strength, prayed for the family she would pick. I spent almost my whole lunch break that day just praying for this unborn baby boy and this brave woman. When I got home that evening I was pretty grumpy, I walked in the door and Dan came and greeted me. I honestly kind of shrugged him off and went to check my phone. I had multiple texts so I wanted to check them, Dan just stood there arms open wide for a hug and I just ignored him until my texts were read… I know not very nice of me… After I had responded to the texts I gave him a big hug and I could see this smile on his face… I asked how his day was? His response, “extraordinarily amazing.” I looked at him kind of funny and asked why. He said well we need to make a call. I asked who and he said to our case worker. At this point things were kind of starting to form in my mind but not really… Ha! I said something like, what no we don’t and he said yes, we got a match, we got picked for a match meeting. At this point I just began sobbing, and laughing but mostly sobbing, I then fell to the floor and was lying on my kitchen floor just crying, laughing and trying to breathe. I couldn’t believe it I was in complete shock. So we called our case workers and she told us more about K and we set up a time to meet.
The match meeting was very nerve wrecking. K had picked a Mexican restaurant to meet at. It was about an hour away from our home and the longest drive of my life. As we walked into the Mexican place my heart was going about a mile a minute but as soon as I saw K and she smiled at me I knew it was going to be alright. At this meeting we learned more about K and why she was making an adoption plan, we also met her mom. They also learned more about us. It was actually a very enjoyable time and I knew that it was all going to work out and be ok. We said our goodbyes and got in the car for the drive back home. Im not even kidding when I say we had been on the road for about 15 minutes before our case worker calls saying that K loved us and wanted to move forward. At that point our case worker even gave K my cell phone so we would be able to keep in touch. So we did here and there, I asked her a few things so I could make her a special hospital goodie bag and she asked me a few things here and there. We then planned to get pedicures together. So one Sunday about a week before Karsten came into the world I drove down to see K and we got pedicures. Now I know with all my heart this was God, I picked this little salon with one nail tech and we were the only people in the place. As we talked with the nail tech it came up that K was pregnant, and then it also came up that K was going to make an adoption plan. The nail tech asked if K knew who the parents would be and K said, yea, this girl right here. The nail techs face was absolutely amazing, not what she was expecting. K then went on to tell her, her story. I was in complete awe with how open K was. K was amazingly brave to tell someone she didn’t even know her whole story, I was so impressed with her and her courage. The nail tech was awesome too, telling K and I what a beautiful story it was. See that was God, he had us go to that tiny nail salon; I would say that is the day I really saw what an amazingly strong person K is. After this K and I texted more and got prepared for the July 17th. K was to be induced on this day. As the day dawned my emotions were sky-high and I couldn’t believe the day was here, the day we would meet Karsten. K texted with me that morning and let me know she would have her mom text us when he was born and we could head down. So that day we waited, we got update texts here and there, just after finishing dinner I got a text from her mom with multiple pictures of him. I screamed in excitement and we ran around gathering our things and headed down to the hospital. It was pouring rain, I mean pouring rain but there was also the most vivid double rainbow I have ever seen… God’s promises were oh so very real at this moment, all the negative ovulation tests, negative pregnancy tests, worry about not being able to have a family of our own, all the tears of sorrow, the nervousness of the adoption processes went out the window. We were on our way to meet our son. God’s promises…
We got to the hospital and went to see K and Karsten. K was in great spirits and was happy to see us come in, she explained he was in the nursery but I should go down and the nurse would give me my bracelet so I would have access to him at all times. K was awesome and she had one bracelet and I got the other one, this way we could both get him and switch him between us whenever we wanted. So I headed down to the nursery with K’s mom and sister. It was the first time I met her sister and emotion was very thick in the air. I made a little small talk with them and they showed me to the nursery and introduced me to the nurse. As I walked into the nursery the nurse put the bracelet on me and then brought me over to Karsten. My heart fluttered a little and in my mind I thought, there you are, I have been praying for you for many years and there you are. If you know me well then you know I am a crier. Oh man did I cry, the other nurse in the nursery had no idea who I was to Karsten and K and she was looking at me so weird. I didn’t care, there he was our son, he was perfect from his big eyes, to his long fingers and toes. From the window of the nursery Dan, and K’s mom and sister watched me. I think that was the point when K’s sister knew this would be hard but also could see why K picked us. After he was done in the nursery the nurse was like here take him back to the room, I was honestly like what you just want me to take him? But, I did and I rolled him back to K’s room and Dan got to hold Karsten for the very first time. The plan for the hospital was that we would be in another room on the same floor so we could have him over night and easily switch him between K and our room. Well they didn’t have a room for us because truthfully the hospital wasn’t very well versed in adoption. (That will be another blog, God did some pretty cool stuff through that as well.) So that night we left and got a hotel and K told us we could be back by eight in the morning. That next morning we got there knowing we didn’t have a room which meant we had to spend the whole day in with K. I won’t lie I was a little nervous but once again that was God. We spend the day talking and holding Karsten and really getting to know one another. A photographer came in and took his pictures and we all just watched completely in love with the cute little baby boy getting his pictures taken. It was really a very sweet time; I wouldn’t have changed it for anything. We also met a lot of K’s family and I think that was good for everyone as well. As I got to know K better over the days we spent with her the more she impressed me. K has been through some tough times but K also sees how this will help her grow and become the person she wants to be. K has goals and dreams; I know she will achieve. When people ask me about K, all I usually say is she has had a rough go, but she has a great head on her shoulders and she knows what she needs to do to reach those goals. She has already made the hardest decision of her life, making an adoption plan and she did it with such grace. We all cried together, laughed together and loved each other and sweet Karsten in a very difficult situation. Night two we got a room in the hospital so we got Karsten for the night; it was so sweet to get to know his cries, faces and get to know him. The next day, Monday July 19th, (exactly one month after our friends brought their daughter home) was discharge day and as I woke I could feel the emotion in the air. K texted me early that morning and wanted some time with Karsten. So I brought him down and went back to the room, he was with her for about four hours and even though it was hard for me, I knew K needed this time and I was going to give it to her. She texted later that morning and we spent the rest of the time with one another. Our fabulous case worker came down and we got started on the discharge stuff. I think it was weird for the nurses to see the birth mother and adoptive family together so much, laughing and talking. After discharge was all done we went up to the chapel and did a placement ceremony. It was an extremely sweet time. Our case worker had prayers for each of the family members and then we each prayed over Karsten, K and then us. We all cried, we cried tears of sorrow but also of joy. We also gave K a necklace, it is a heart with a ruby in the middle, I have one as well. The ruby is Karsten’s birthstone and the heart represents every single one of our hearts. We will always be connected. We then walked down to the entrance and Dan got our car and K’s mom got theirs. When they arrived we all hugged and said see you soon. We are in an open adoption and I couldn’t be more thrilled about it. I know to some people and open adoption seems weird or scary. People feel like the birth mom will over step or try to parent the child. The thing about an open adoption is, it’s not for any of us, it’s for Karsten. Karsten will always know his adoption story; it’s something to be celebrated! He will always know we are his parents but will also always know K is his birth mom. I am aware that there will be times we see K more and times were we may not see K as much. The thing of it is, that is how it is in life and well, there was a time I didn’t seem my own grandparents for almost 5 years but that didn’t change the love we have for one another. I don’t know what the future holds but I do know that Karsten will know K and her family. I do know I will always celebrate Karsten’s adoption story and I do know I will always care for K. K trusted us as complete strangers and said yes I want to make an adoption plan with them. We now know each other but she still gave her son to people she only knew for a short period of time. So I will love her with an open heart, I continue to support her when she needs pictures of Karsten or a visit when she misses him. K is so easy to love, she is human just like every single one of you, she has had a rough go but made the most selfless decision someone could make. So I will just say this here and now, I don’t want to know your opinion of K. It’s amazing to me how many people think they can have one. You don’t know K, you don’t know her story and you don’t know our relationship. We are walking into this open adoption trusting the Lord, every party involved. I know there will up and downs but God has already moved so many mountains to make this all happen that there is nothing he can’t do!
There are so many other sweet moments and stories I will tell in other blogs, like how he got his name. But thank you for your support and love so far and I can’t wait to continue to share this incredible journey God is letting us travel!
Hi everyone, this is Karla’s husband Dan, and I’m posting on the blog this week. I told Karla that I wanted to do the post to share my thoughts as a father in waiting as Father’s Day is about to be celebrated.
First some updates. We have been waiting and praying for the entire month of June for birth moms. We have had three adoption notifications to show our profile to birth moms since the start of the month and the waiting period has overlapped. At this point we are still waiting to hear about one of the birth moms. It has been a lot of emotional ups and downs as we waited for updates, the not knowing when we will find out makes it hard to relax some days.
So Sunday is Father’s Day. In years past I’ve not really been that involved or cared much beyond showing my Dad how much I cared and appreciated him. This year I’ve been thinking about the very real possibility that this might be the last year I’m not just celebrating for others. Next year I might be a father.
That’s the first time I think I have said or written that down. It feels good.
It’s hard to visualize everything that means. I know what it is like to have a father and be loved and cared for by an amazing dad, but I don’t know what that feels like from the other side. I can think about the logistics, and all the toys and clothes and dirty diapers and that makes sense. But I don’t know how it will feel the first time our child says they love me or they ask for help, the first time they crash their bike (or maybe fall off a horse) and we have to calm their cries. Or the first time they are scared of the dark, or monsters under the bed and need to be saved. All these things and a million more I don’t know how it feels but I will love every minute of it.
So for now we wait to get the call that tells us we get to be parents, and until then we prepare a little at a time. We’ve been getting some “basics” in case we get a last minute notification, and until then they sit in the baby’s room waiting for a child just like Karla and me. It’s a strange place to be knowing you will have a child and are prepared for them, but not knowing when. Today after lunch with my parents we visited a local shop and say a corner of baby clothes and toys, we found a lot of things we loved but not knowing if our child will be a boy or girl we didn’t buy most of what we were looking at. Someday soon we will know our child and spoil them rotten and it will be glorious.
The last thing I wanted to do was thank all our amazing friends and family that have been our prayer and emotional support. Everyone that has donated time, baby stuff, and sponsored a puzzle piece. We are so thankful for everyone in our life and love you all so much. If you still want to sponsor a puzzle piece I put a new Donate button on the website, you can add the amount you want to sponsor and there is an area to add a message. Thank you so much for following our story and supporting us as we walk the adoption journey.
First off let’s get real here, adoption is not cheap. When we first heard the call to adopt many of our conversations were about how we could possible get the money to adopt. So we started researching. To help raise the money people do support letters, they do go fund me pages and fundraisers of all kinds. Many families do multiple fundraisers. We thought and prayed a lot about if we would do fundraising or not. I personally have never really liked asking people for money, even in high school fundraising for missions trips was my least favorite thing. So we decided to not write a letter, to not do multiple ones. We however did decide on one fundraiser that we feel goes deeper than just asking for your supports in just the form of money. The fundraiser we have decided to do is a puzzle. The puzzle was designed by myself. It has a verse that is very popular for many adoptive families or even just families struggling with fertility. But it also rings so true! ” For this child I have prayed and the Lord has granted me the desires of my heart” 1 Samuel 1:27.
So how does this puzzle work? The puzzle I got has 251 pieces. So basically you will buy a puzzle piece or multiple puzzles pieces. We will then put your name on the back of that puzzle piece or puzzle pieces. Once it is done we will frame the puzzle so that you can see the front and turn it around and see the back with all the names. I want our future child to know how many people have prayed and helped to bring him or her home. Imagine the love that will show our future child. I have already been so in awe of how many people have been following our story and praying for us and I want our future child to know and understand how truly loved they will be and already are! This is the only fundraiser we are doing everything we raise will go straight to our adoption fund. We are not putting a limit on how little or how much you can give. It’s completely up to you. No matter the outcome of this we know God will provide the funds needed. He already is, he has provided for this adoption already in ways that we have been so thankful for. So if you want to help us bring home baby Baumann and become even more a part of the story you can email me at email@example.com or Dan at firstname.lastname@example.org. We can then get you the info for either PayPal or our address to mail us the donation. Or use the Donate Button at the bottom of this post. Just let us know how many puzzles pieces you want and we will be sure to let you see a picture of the pieces and the finished product that will be in the nursery.
I thank you already from the bottom of my heart for even considering to be part of our puzzle fundraiser.
Sponsor a puzzle piece
(If donating via Credit Card PayPal charges us a processing fee)
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise in God I trust and am not afraid.”
This past Monday I had my Laparoscopy as many of your know. I wont lie I was scared up until the moment I was laying on the surgery table and felt the cold induction drug go in through my catheter on my hand. After that I woke up kicking and in pain and telling the nurse, “I feel like a Labrador waking up from a spay!” I guess I’m a bit dramatic and totally a vet tech… HA! Any who everything went well and I was able to go home like within an hour or so of waking up so that’s great. By far the worse part of the recovery so far was the gas pains in my right rib cage and under my collar bone. It was by far the worst pain I have ever been in and made you feel like you couldn’t breath. It lasted about 3 days and since then I have just been tired and sore. I have one more week off work which I am so thankful for! I don’t think I am ready to get back to my on my feet and very physical job yet. So next week I will focus a lot on getting myself moving and doing more everyday things. I once again have to say thank you to my awesome hubby! You have been beyond helpful, caring and so loving to me. Also to my mom, you honestly know exactly what to say to me to make me feel stronger and not feel so weak. I also had lots of great friends and family bring me cards, food and flowers. Mandy you are the best for just laying in bed with me and just making me smile and laugh. I have to say I feel so incredibly blessed by all the amazing people in my community that have showed me so much extra love over this last week.
So about that surgery I had and the results… The results were not what I was expecting at all. I feel extremely blessed by them but also a little confused. So what did the doctor find you ask? My answer….Nothing, everything looks great. My left ovary is under some intestine but the doctor said it has probably been like that since I was born and is nothing to be concerned about. I did have a fibroid the size of a piece of rice but once again nothing to worry about. So as you can see I do feel blessed by these results and happy I know everything is good but also a little confused. WHY AM I IN PAIN ALL THE TIME THEN??? Well I don’t know, I meet with my doctor for a follow up next week and we will talk more about that. But once again, it’s is oh so good to know there is nothing scary.So basically I still have PCOS and the doctor said I could technically still have endometriosis even though I didn’t have any lesions… I am a little skeptical of that. So my mom and I have started researching some other possible causes of my pain and I will just keep marching forward until I figure out why the pain is oh so painful.
So the adoption we are just waiting. This month has really been rather quiet with adoption stuff but that has been fine with me because there has been so much other stuff going on. So while I wait, I will praise you lord!
So last weekend we were in Castle Rock at some mandatory adoption training. By Colorado state law you must have 16 hours of adoption training before your adoption is finalized. Hope’s Promise does two trainings a year. One in October and one in April. When we first started the adoption process it was right in the middle of October so we weren’t able to make that training, so we had to wait for the April one. The training was very good. There were a lot of families just starting the processes and still in all the paperwork. There were a couple of families adopting internationally. We were the only “waiting family” but there was another family getting ready to adopt their third child from Hope’s promise. It was fun to meet hopeful adoptive families and it was very fun to get to know the staff at Hope’s Promise better. There were several different classes and people giving us training and tips for raising an adopted child. My favorite part was the birth parent and adoptive parent panel. It was so interesting to hear about everything from the perspective of both birth mom’s and adoptive parents who have already made an adoption plan and who are walking this journey. We even had a how to care for an infant class! The weekend was very good and I was so impressed with the whole weekend. We have now completed everything needed for this stage of adopting. So now we just wait, we just give it to God and trust in his promises.
So as you know we have gotten a number of baby items already so we would be prepared. We have a pack and play, diaper bag, baby wrap holder, some stuffed animals, a car seat and a nursery that needs a crib and rocking chair so I can put up the decorations. Something I hadn’t bought yet was any baby clothes. I at first think I was avoiding it because we don’t know if it will be a boy or girl. I also think I wasn’t buying it because I didn’t want the baby clothes without a baby. I didn’t want to get super excited for the cute little clothes and then it just sit for however long until we get our baby. But yesterday I was out and about in town and went into Target to get another pair of these lounge pants that I like. I don’t know why but I felt the need to buy some baby clothes. I just got some onesies that were gender neutral and some pants. I also got some swaddle blankets ( I don’t really know what you would call them! HA!). So I officially have some baby clothes in the house. I had a rough week because of some things that happened at work, I had a long conversation with God on Tuesday night on the way home from work. Even though I feel like I have given this adoption to him multiple times, I really haven’t completely let go and given it to him. It’s silly not to but it’s part of my want to have control over the situation. So maybe by buying those baby clothes I have been afraid to buy it was a way of completely giving this journey to him. Maybe it was my way of letting go and letting God. I know that is the only way to make it in this journey. This journey I feel so blessed to get to walk. It is not an easy one my friends, but the deeper in we get the more I can feel God changing my heart. The more I feel prepared for what is ahead. Its pretty crazy that we started this journey 8 months ago and have already been waiting for 4 months. It is going by so fast and yet there are also those hard days that go by so slow. It is something I still am not sure I am strong enough to handle but I also know with God I can do anything. So we keep waiting and praying. We keep trusting the Lord and dreaming of our future child. Until that day, I will give this journey to you Lord, I will lean on you. I will pray every single day for this journey! And until that day we get matched, until that day we bring our precious child home from the hospital I will put my trust in you Lord and then continue to put my trust in you!
This last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. I suppose that is a good thing because it makes the weeks go by fast and brings us closer and closer to Baby Baumann. God already has the month, day and hour we will meet our precious baby picked out. This last week we got to go to the main fundraiser that Hopes Promise (our adoption agency) does every year. It was a blast! We went with our great friends and fellow waiting adoptive parents. I am so excited for our friends and the child God has planned for them. I am also so excited we get to walk this journey with them. That our children will get to grow up together and get to have a friend who is also adopted! There was also some awesome food at the event! Next weekend we have a two-day adoption training. I am so excited for this. It has been fun having events that have to do with our agency and our adoption. Annabella also came home yesterday. It feels so good to have her home. I am excited for her to get settled and to really get to know her and start building our relationship!
Please continue to pray for peace in our hearts during this waiting period! (It’s a little rough some days) Please pray for our future birth mom and dad. Please pray for our future child. If you can also pray those same prayers for our sweet friends who are also waiting that would be great!
I’m going to be real here. These last couple of week have been rough. I have got emotions like a roller coaster! There have been so many good things going on but also things out of my control that I don’t really like. One of those being my endometriosis. I was diagnosed about three years ago and have been able to manage it with acupuncture and diet. But this last month and a half have been by far the worse symptoms I have ever had! I mean ever! The pain can take me to my knees. So after seeing my girly doctor for a annual and ultrasound it was decided it was time to get a bit more serious about this all. So in May I will be going in for an outpatient laparoscopy. They will take a look in there and then cut out any endometriosis they find. I am nervous but also extremely excited for the pain relief that will come after the healing. I will be out of work for about 2 weeks and won’t be able to ride Annabelle for 3 weeks… That is the worse thing about it all! NO RIDING FOR AT LEAST 3 WEEKS!!! AAH!
I won’t lie to you all I am scared for the surgery. But the hardest part is that it kind of digs up my old wounds and feelings about my endometriosis. It adds to the stress and uncertainty of the wait to adopt. But I know it is the right thing to do and this way when we are picked by a birth mom and we get our baby I will feel awesome. I may feel the best I have felt in over 5 years!!! Wouldn’t that be amazing?!
As for the adoption we are still in the “great wait”. I do feel it is getting easier, I mean it has already been three months since we got approved. Times is going very fast and I know it is all in his hands. The last weekend of the month we will be in Castle Rock for a weekend adoption training. I hear its pretty intense but I am excited to learn! I am excited to meet other couples who are adopting. I am excited to become more educated about adoption.
So if you all can continue to pray for our future child and birth mom. If you can pray that my little surgery goes smoothly and recovery is fast. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for joining us on this journey!