So, how has adoption already changed my life? Well first off my sister Kari is adopted. My parents went over to Romania to get my sister when I was two. I dont remember life without Kari, she has always been my sister and Im so thankful she is. When we were kids Kari and I shared a room so we did like everything together. I also grew up with two adopted cousins. Adoption has always been a part of my life. When I was about ten I went through this phase where I wasn’t going to get married, I was going to ride a motorcycle and I was going to adopt so I could still be a mom. As I got older many of those wants changed but one that did not was the desire to adopt. I think I told Dan I wanted to adopt a child on our first date! It had become something that I knew was a part of my story. It was already a part of my story. If my parents didn’t listen to the call to adopt our family would have always had a missing piece. I would have grown up with just one older sister and my little brother. How boring that would have been. If my parents didnt adopt my beautiful older sister then I probably wouldn’t be adopting either. Not only did my parents make our family whole by adopting but they also planted the seed that is going to make my family whole as well. I am so thankful my mom knew she had a daughter waiting for her in Romania. Adoption has always and will always be a part of my life. I am so thankful for each and every one of my siblings. I love how different we all are but I also love how each one of us fits into our family perfectly and make it whole. I find it incredible to think, that God knew one of my sisters was in Romania and that she would fit perfectly into our family. I think its amazing that God already knows who our future baby is and that this child will also become a perfect fit for Dan and I. Adoption can be hard and it can be messy. No everything wasnt always rainbows and sunshine growing up, all 4 of us kids went through growing pains and rebellion. It isnt about being perfect, its about that at the end of the day we are still family and love each other. At the end of the day God chose us to be a family even if that means traveling to another country to bring my sister home or waiting for a birth-mom to pick us to be the parents of her baby. Family isnt always about blood, its about loving one another no matter what. Its about being there during the messy, silly, sad, fun, frustrating and incredible moments of life. Adoption isnt always an easy ride, I am aware of that. I am also aware of the beauty of adoption. My sister, she is the beauty of adoption. She is the amazing part of my family that was so special my parents traveled to another country to bring her home. She is one of the reasons I am so excited to adopt. I cant wait for my child to learn their adoption story, to hear their Auntie Kari’s adoption story. Adoption isnt always sad, it is an incredible story of how God brings families together.
That’s right my husband got me a horse for my Birthday! Trust me I am as surprised as you! So how in the world did the topic of us getting a horse while we are waiting to adopt even happen? So one of my doctors as work has many horses, mules and donkeys. Back in January we were talking about some things that have happened in her life that will require her traveling a little more. She started talking about her sweet 5 year old mare and how she really should find her a new home because she just doesn’t have the time. She then turned to me and said Karla, I know you have been wanting another horse and I think she would be perfect for you! I kind of laughed and said I wish but we are waiting to adopt a baby and we still need to get our horse fencing done and what not. My sweet doctor then said, I just want her to have a good home, I will just give her to you if you can take her! You can also borrow my horse trailer whenever you need it until you get one. I told her I would ask Dan but didnt think it was a possibility. So that evening I came home and told Dan about it all and that I really understood if it was a no but had to ask because how often do you get offered a great horse just because the current owner wants her to have a good home. I also asked because getting another horse has been a hope and dream for me. That is part of the reason we moved to the house we did almost 3 years ago. It has a barn and a riding arena and all the pasture needed. So I asked Dan, at first he looked at me like I was slightly crazy and then he said, “just let me think about it.”. So I dropped it and let my very analytical husband think about it. Well weeks of thinking turned into over a month of thinking. So about a week ago we were driving home and I asked if he was still thinking. He was, so I said well lets just talk it through. So we did and decided it probably wasn’t a possibility right now. So I dropped it and really haven’t thought of it since. Dan is a man who loves to surprise the people he loves, he really loves to surprise me. So last night I opened an envelope and there was a hand made card. It had owls on it( which if you know me you know I LOVE owls) and he wrote a very sweet note on it that left me wondering what was on the inside. I was very confused and honestly was like, maybe I get to go to a cool concert or something. Then I opened it and there was a picture of my new sweet mare. I instantly started crying and was in complete shock!!!! I MEAN COMPLETE SHOCK! So that is the story on how my husband who loves to make huge surprises for me pulled off one heck of a surprise!
So yes we are getting a horse while we are waiting to adopt. I know that sounds crazy but it is totally how we do things in this house. Us Baumann’s never do anything small or the easy way. But the truth is that it may take another 1.5 years before we even get to adopt. Our awesome social worker told us the best advice to get through this wait is to not put your life on hold, to keep living your life. So that is what we are doing we are living our life and it happens to include getting a horse. So whether we get our baby in 2 months or 2 years we are going to continue to live our life and not pause it. I cannot wait to get back in the saddle! I cant wait to be able to go riding after a long day at work, or when the wait of the adopt is getting to me! For me horses have always be more than just a passion, they are a therapy and I know many other horse people who would say that. But more than anything, I am so excited that my child gets to grow up with a horse!!!! From day one our child will have a horse and I can teach him or her to ride! I feel so beyond blessed that I will get to raise a child on our 5 beautiful acres, on our little hobby farm! I am still a bit in shock and almost felt like it was a dream when I woke up this morning!
You are far more than I deserve. You know me and my love language so perfectly. I feel so blessed to call you my husband, I feel so blessed that when you met me and I told you my dream was to have a little hobby farm in the forest it didnt scare you. You just smiled and I know your brain was already going to work to make it a possibility. You love me so well, even when Im a crazy emotional mess! Dan I am so thankful beyond words that I get to call you my husband. You pulled off the biggest surprise you could have pulled off! I love you forever and always my incredible husband!
I got my first horse on my 15th birthday as a surprise and 12 years later I got my third horse as a surprise on my 27th birthday! I am still in shock but feel so so loved. So now we just have to get all our fencing up before she gets out of training! That is also a good thing because we will finish the two stalls we are going to be boarding horses in. So we will have my sweet mare and two horses we board here. That is how Im going to bring in a little income once Im a stay at home mom. This week has been full of surprises I would never ever expect. God is way too good!
I will also be singing with the worship band at church this Sunday! I am so excited, I had practice on my birthday and it was so much fun! I have always loved to sing and have been told I have a great voice, but have always been a bit shy about it. As I would say to my mom, I like to pull it out when people least expect it and surprise everyone! Ha! Well, God has really been pulling on my heart strings to start and use my gift for him. So that is what Im gonna do! I hope I can use my voice to touch peoples hearts for God. Yea this week has brought a lot of new adventures to this family! But as long as we have God, anything is possible!
That is where we are…We are just waiting. This has by far been the hardest part thus far. I mean the hardest. I knew it would be but man. These last two weeks have been hard for me. I have had probably the worse flare up of my endometriosis I have ever had. It just drains you, the constant pain and discomfort. I have been extra stressed at work on top of all the endometriosis stuff. This too has made the waiting game harder. But I am still so thankful for God’s loving arms around me. I have really felt them these last two weeks. Even when I have been very grumpy and not the best Karla I could be. I have been trying to take more time out with God and myself. So far every single night this week I have spent extra time with God and have taken an hour long bath. It is helping me one feel better and two helps me try and focus on the bigger picture. It’s so easy to get sucked into the the questions and uncertainties of adoption. I have literally read our copy of our adoption book every single night this week. I started it as kind of a way to pray over it and pray for the birth parents that will be looking them. But it has almost turned into me questioning if we are good enough, if the book is good enough. I have had to tell myself over and over this week that God has this all planned out and our book will be perfect for the birth mom who picks us. I was talking to one of my favorite clients at work this week, she currently has a foster baby that she will most likely be adopting later this year. She has been a foster mom for a couple years now. I was talking to her about the wait and how its been a little harder for me than I expected. She reminded me that its okay to talk about and that the only way we will make it through is by leaning on God. By giving him every fear, doubt, worry, and letting him handle it. He has gotten us this far, he will get us through the rest. I am thankful for unexpected conversations like that. God seems to always make them happen when you need them most. I didn’t know I would even be seeing this client this week. The conversation came up after I discharged her dog after he got neutered that day. But God knew I needed those words and her sweet encouragement. SO THANKFUL! So here we are still waiting, but instead of obsessing over something I have no control over I will give it to God. Gosh, how lucky are we that in any situation in life we can give it to God? I am sure thankful for that. So in the mean time I will keep dreaming of my future baby and I will keep leaning on my Lord and Savoir. I will also keep busy because that is helpful! Tomorrow I am watching my friends almost one year old twins for a couple hours, then lunch with an old friend and an appointment I have been putting off for way too long! Next week I celebrate my birthday and am doing a joint birthday dinner with my sister and niece! All I know is I won’t let doubt creep in and ruin this part of our adoption journey. Its all part of the journey and I want to try and enjoy each and every day of it. God is in control and for that truth I am beyond thankful!
So Monday night I was laying in bed thinking about the week. I had a lot in front of me for the week and a very busy weekend. Then my mind turned to the blog. I was thinking, what in the world would I possibly write about this week? I had no idea, so I just went to bed. Around six in the morning on Tuesday I heard my phone ringing. Missing the call I looked at the phone and saw I missed a phone call from my sister. In my mind all I thought was, why in the world would she be calling me so early in the morning? So I called back, on the other end of the phone my sister told me that she was in labor and then asked the magical words, “would you like to be in the room for the delivery?” I have been asking her this since she had her oldest and was in shock that she asked the question. I was so excited and felt so honored she would allow me and my other sister witness our new nephew being born.
So I hustled to get ready, get some snacks for everyone and coffee for my bother-in-law and mom. Once as at the hospital we waited for a couple hours. At about 1:15 pm the nurse came back in to check Kim and see how far along she was. Kari and I went into the waiting room for about 15 minutes before Manny came and said it was time. I was so excited, it was time, time to see my nephew come into this world. It all happened much faster than expected and it was a life changing event. I now believe every single person should see a baby being born before they die. The raw strength of my sister was absolutely incredible. The sweet quiet coaching of my bother-in-law amazing. Then to hear the very first cries of my nephews. That is a beautiful noise I will never forget. The whole experience was an amazing display of God’s love for us. An amazing display of love between my sister and my brother-in-law.
To Kim and Manny,
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me be in the room. I will never be able to truly repay you for letting me witness this. You opened my eyes to another form of God’s love I had yet to experience. Kim, you are an incredibly strong and beautiful person. I loved seeing the instant love you and Manny had for Brooks the moment you first saw him. To hear your sweet voice as you calmed his cries. To see how Brooks responded when he heard Manny’s voice and turned to it. I am forever grateful to you both and so proud of you both!
So the adoption, nothing new to share. Just waiting. But we did get the diaper bag and pack and play this week. That was fun and my diaper bag is super cute! We also got a baby duck, I wanted a female duck and my friend was getting some as well, so I decided to get a female. She is cute. So we keep waiting and trusting in the Lord. I am very thankful for this last week and the birth of my beautiful new nephew! God is good, God is good all the time!